Sophisticated lady

Those people who know me well know that for some reason being "sophisticated" is very important to me. Certainly I don't want to be sophisticated all the time; I'm a jeans and T-shirt girl at heart. But it's important to me that once in a while I get to dress up all fancy and go to some grand occasion, preferably with place cards and wine glasses. (Never mind that I don't actually drink wine. It's all about the glasses!) That might be why I'm soon planning a 60's dinner party. (More on that later.) That might be why I have a closet full of dresses that aren't actually suitable for wear to either work or church. And that might also be why I spent a wonderful three days at Mohonk Mountain House last summer pretending to be rich. (Gee, I hope I get to back again soon, and this time take someone else with me.)

I don't think there's anything wrong with pretending to be sophisticated that way, as long as it doesn't make you abandon your principles or go into debt. But there's another way I've been attempting to be sophisticated that isn't working out so well, and I'm realizing I might have to give it up. I've been trying to be sophisticated in my love life, which for me translates to being the kind of person who can have someone beloved breeze into town, show him a good time while he's here, and then have him ride out into the sunset with nary a passing thought.

I don't know where I got the idea that that kind of behavior is sophisticated. I think it's probably from TV, which always delights in giving our hero or heroine a love interest for an episode or two and then ripping them away again. How many different girls did Captain Kirk meet along the way, and he never shed a tear from them after they were gone? And then of course there are the shows that grant the main character a recurring love interest who shows up once or twice a season, but otherwise doesn't factor into things at all.

The reason I'm pondering all this is because I've hit upon this situation in my real life. Someone very dear to me has just blown into town and is scheduled to blow out again at the end of the summer. I've been trying really, really hard to be sophisticated about this, and it's slowly driving me insane. I can't just turn it on and off like that, and maybe it's time I stopped trying.

Of course, that begs the question: if I'm not going to be sophisticated, what am I going to be? That's something that I haven't figured out yet, but I certainly hope the answer doesn't become "melodramatic." I've heard I can be pretty good at that one too, but it takes a lot out of you!