Two months

So it's been a long time since I said anything substantial here, and it's not that I haven't been thinking about things. It's just that I've felt like I couldn't say anything that I wanted everybody in the world to hear. My life has been full of a lot of secrets lately, some of which I'm still not ready to reveal. But while I was taking a nice brisk (in both senses of the word) walk today on the bike path, I had a thought that I felt was worth exploring here. In two words, it's "two months."

What do I mean by that? Well, I've had a number of significant relationships in my life, and because I'm a loyal person, many of them have gone on in some form or another for years. But to be perfectly honest, the amount of time in which I was actually happy and things were going well has always been the same: 2 months. Take this summer, for instance, when I had my little idyll immortalized in these pages. It was exactly two months long to the day. And of course, last spring I met Aethelred Eldridge and we were so intrigued with each other for, you guessed it, two months, and then things just trailed off. After I graduated from library school, I had a wonderful intimate liaison with someone that lasted exactly two months, until we both found jobs and went back to real life. And just to show you that this trend has gone on for a long time, I was recently reunited with an old old old flame on Facebook. (By which I mean from 5th grade.) Although we knew each other for years after that period, when I look back on it, there were only two months that we were very happy, before all the teasing I got from classmates made me back away.

I'm still not sure if this means something, and if so, what? Is two months all the good I've got in me for anybody? That's a depressing thought. Maybe what it means is that when I meet someone new, instead of hoping that things last forever, I should just try to get the most out of the next two months that I can. If I take that strategy, the next two months could be very interesting indeed!