A dream of dreams come true

I had a dream last night that was so good, it was scary. First I was with XDPE having lunch, and we told each other how much we loved each other and held hands across the table. Then I was on the school bus, and all the high school boys were flirting with me! I asked people questions about the bus route, which made them think I was crazy, because hadn't I been with them all along? But they said that we had already gone through Manfred, and that I got on the bus every morning at 8:10 and got off every afternoon at 4:10. In other words, this was my classic elementary school bus route.

After I got off, I saw that my father was baling straw. Somehow the sight of that yellow baler going down the road is more "him" to me than anything else. I played for a while in the ditch, which was perfectly shaded even though there are no trees there! Then I went home and to my room, and Spicey was lying on my bed, and we played together. I was carrying her around like a baby, and her ears fanned out like they always did, and then I thought, "Isn't she supposed to be dead?" And then I thought, "Well, she isn't right now, anyway, and that's all that matters." Then I went to the kitchen and my mother was there, and I thought, "Is this real or a dream?" And she started talking about how her new pants accentuated her tummy bulge, and I noticed she was walking around on her own two feet, so I knew it was a dream. She was wearing that yellow sweater vest she always used to wear. I knew what I was supposed to do, and I went over and hugged her, and she was a little bit taller than I am, like she's supposed to be, and she felt solid under my arms, not frail. And I looked out the screen door, and Jillie was lying on the steps with her head in her dish, which was always her favorite position, and there were some cats there, too.

And then my mother went to the living room to talk to my daddy, and I saw that my grandma was cooking something in the kitchen. She was wearing her standard uniform, too, including those blue shoes with all the little holes in them that she used to wear. So I went over to her, but I had to kneel down so I was the same height I used to be when I was 5, and I hugged her too, and I asked her to make me a brown sugar sandwich, and she said she would. And then I went into the living room and they were talking about land bank papers and my sister was there, too, and then I woke up.

So this dream concerns me a little bit, because it was completely wish fulfillment from one end to the other, and it makes me worry that I'm going to die, or something really, really bad is going to happen to me. Why else would God allow me to have so much comfort all on one night? On the other hand, I've always loved that part of Our Town where Emily goes back in time to her 12th birthday, and I've always kind of wondered if I could do that. Maybe this was just proof that I could. (Although I didn't really go back to one particular time, as Grandma was dead long before we got Spicey and Jillie, for instance.) It also proves that XDPE was right. He always said that if I could learn to lucid dream it would be a tremendous comfort, but I didn't believe him. Well, boy, you were right.